Book II in the Frozen Message series
WHEN THE HEART MELTS
BOOK II:
FINDING DEEP WATER
When you first stumble across the suggestion that there might be a frozen river in your heart, two conflicting thoughts often appear. The first: that’s got to be ridiculous… And then, anywhere from a few seconds to maybe days later, the wondering begins: what if there is some truth to that?
Most of the men and women I meet, after hearing or reading about the possibility of this deep inner world, encounter similar questions. And as they sift through their thoughts and feelings, other reactions rise to the surface, like bubbles in the wake of a ship. These responses range from indifference, doubt, confusion, fascination… All the way up to anger and outrage. And yet, woven through all these is a faint, but glittering thread of hope: What if this is for real? Could this River really exist? Is there a force or presence that causes or releases those feelings and inner changes? And of course: What do I have to do to have these experiences?
Over the last seven years, I’ve sought to answer many of the questions stirred by these responses. In the sections and chapters that follow, I want to provide written explanations and deal with specifics. I will outline why it is that in certain environments, intense spiritual energy is released, why this is not the same as emotion or excitement (although the two are usually entwined), and why so few of us fully connect with this sense of Presence and… What you can (and cannot) do to change that.
This first section begins with an overview of the contrasts between our inner and outer lives: how we are inclined to focus on externals, upon forms, structures and programs, often viewed through an intellectual lens. This common perspective tends to emphasize size and quantity over depth and intrinsic quality. Rational thinking is usually revered, even as intuition is downplayed. This outlook has many consequences, as you will see.
Then I share some real life examples of what happens when the rational collides with the inexplicable. How do we handle and interpret these experiences?
This is followed by an explanation of inner spiritual barriers: what they are and how they get there.
Finally, in the last section you will find my discoveries about personal spiritual transformation; what you can and cannot do to experience this yourself. You will then see why these earlier sections really matter.
I want to add one more point before we dive in together. The perspectives and insights presented here are based simply on my own direct experiences— not on theories. I write only from a desire to share what I have discovered after wading through so many years of confusion.
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If you live in the western world, as I do, by the time you reach your mid twenties, you have most likely been bombarded by countless images of success. These images portray people as glamorous, beautiful and wealthy. They are shown living in stunning penthouse apartments or expansive estate properties, with acres of lawns, swimming pools and tennis courts.
They are also young, slim, handsome and sexy. And while we are, to a greater or lesser extent, ever hopeful their fame and success will “rub off”, as years pass, most of us find ourselves living, not in penthouses and Bel Air enclaves, but on the other side of the tracks.
For the vast majority of ordinary humans, life seems to sweep us towards narrow alleys and apartment buildings— and not into the mansions and penthouses found in a few small districts of every large city. This is where the rich seem to congregate, in quiet, gated communities, close to the water, or on hills with expansive views. Far across town, for every private palace crowned by swaying palm trees, a thousand hovels slump together, surrounded by bare dirt, flies and neglect. Weeds and a sense of hopelessness are the only landscaping to be seen.
Between these two extremes, most of us hope to find domestic bliss in a modest suburb. But even in that mortgaged piece of heaven, we sometimes find the alleys and slums still exist— in our thoughts and dreams. Increasingly, we find ourselves trapped, not only by bills, but by limited perceptions and dead-end thinking.
Even our grandest dreams often lack sufficient energy to bring about their fulfilment and— try as we might— nothing brings the change and breakthrough we secretly long for. This is why millions steadily sink into a quiet despair, eventually becoming addicted to food, alcohol, drugs or cynicism. And even if we live in a mansion, in our heads, we may still feel we are stuck in a slum.
It is for all those of you who feel this vague despair, this sense of internal entrapment, that I write. Somewhere in the pages ahead, you may recognize descriptions of mental “alleys” you have come to know. You may glimpse hopes and assumptions you have leaned upon: visionary dreams that once looked full of promise, but are now little more than shells. And as you search back, you find yourself wondering: what went wrong? What happened to my hope and enthusiasm? Where are these dreams I used to cherish?
As we sift through past memories, we sometimes catch a glimpse of our youthful dreams. We see and remember our younger selves waiting for that glorious future. Like a gathering of VIPs at a ribbon cutting ceremony, we imagine everyone will be cheering. Cameras will be flashing as the ribbon is cut and construction finally starts on this brand new life we have imagined, like a skyscraper in our heads, surrounded as we will be by wealth, fame and success.
It is only years later that we find some of those same ambitions have crumbled. Some of the glittering skyscrapers of our dreams are beginning to look more like run down tenement buildings. When we peer inside, we sense some of the windows are shattered and the doors are broken off their hinges. The life and vision they were supposed to contain is fading fast, but the walls remain, and on those walls we have— slowly and reluctantly— “written” our own graffiti. These are like mental slogans of failure and reproach, tattooed across our memories. A friend of mine, who has battled alcoholism for years, put it like this: “No matter what I do, or what new job I start, I have this feeling it’s just a matter of time until I screw up.”
For some, this is a familiar feeling— the sense that no matter what you try, it will never really succeed. For others— almost too painful to admit— your dreams have crumbled even further, and lie scattered around you like ancient ruins.
In contrast to this sense of creeping disillusionment, our longings for spiritual transformation also catch— from time to time— a powerful inner light. These sparks and surges of inspiration re-ignite passion within us. They not only illuminate but also release a torrent of freshness, like water flowing in a desert. At such moments, our whole interior world shifts, sometimes in just a few seconds, from winter to spring.
These occasional bursts of hope are inspired by a genuine and stunningly powerful source. It is this source which is my focus, (not the crumbled dreams) and how we stumble forward, or soar, as we journey into this radiant Light and Life.
For most people, profound moments of inspiration and renewal, while always welcome, prove to be fleeting. The possibility of life-changing spiritual experiences, even when we seek after them for years, remains unfulfilled. I call these sorts of experiences Transformative Encounters (TE’s). In the sections that follow, I will explain what these are and how they come to us.